“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.”Richard Feynman
The biggest lies are the ones we believe about ourselves.
Who you are and who you want to be aren’t the same.
You don’t have to fake it to be who you want to be. You need to start acting how you want to be, and slowly stretch your life towards that reality.
For example, think of how we can easily wash over or even boast about our lives and how we feel to others, yet the opposite is true.
“Oh hey! How are you?”
(Everything sucks) “I’m great, you doing well?”
“Yeah! things are good.” (I hate my job. My back is killing me.)
I don’t necessarily see this as lying to others. Technically yes, but these kinds of opposing inner thoughts and outer dialogue are more like a protective mechanism. Whether or not you think this is an example of lying to others, it is an example of how we lie to ourselves.
The cost of lying to ourselves is staying stuck—right where we don’t want to be.
We hold in pain and anger so we don’t have to explain how we got here and protect ourselves from looking stupid. But by brushing off how we feel to others—especially people who are close—we do a disservice to ourselves. We’re avoiding our problems by pretending like things are normal.
Think about, how many people have you actually confided in with your problems and goals? Does anyone actually know what you are going through?
Maybe that’s why no one seems to not care to help you. Because they don’t know.
How does that help you be the person you want to be?
We can begin removing these barriers that are holding us back in three stages:
Acceptance isn’t about giving up to your situations, it’s taking a bow and respecting the good, the bad, and the fugly of your life.
Accept things as they are. Accept who you are. Accept the moment, so that you can move beyond it.
Assessment is about turning over every rock, shining a light into every dusty cobweb filled corner, and looking head-on at the things you’ve been avoiding.
Things like looking at where your money is going and how much debt you owe. And journaling about what values and principles you’ve been living by. And assessing where you’re time is going. Comb through every aspect of your current life and see how it relates to the life you want to have.
It isn’t fun, but it can often be a relief, because at least now you know and have something specific to work towards, versus a mystery blob of problems and fears.
After accepting where you are and looking at the state of things, the last step is to take immediate action.
Make a list, prioritize that list, then focus on knocking out one thing at a time.
The key is building up momentum. The more momentum we have, the easier it is to keep stepping forward.
STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #1075
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