Connections

“Old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.” — Athenaeus

It’s interesting to think how we criss-cross and co-exists with other people in our lives. Small moments connect us—like a chance meeting a random event invite a friend of a friend forced us to attend. Defining moments connect us—same high school, same college.

Friends come and go. Or maybe it’s “we” who are the ones coming and going?

Surface level change is inevitable. New outfit. New haircut. New tattoo.

Deep change is a choice.

Deep choice that takes courage, faith and a sprinkle of boldness. Courage to admit when we are wrong or have messed up and commit to correct course. Faith to stick to our principles. Boldness to do what we fear and to challenge the status conformity around us.

We are still connected to who we were (through the stories we tell), but we aren’t the same.

But no matter how much we may change, there’s always room for an old friend.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,

— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #1207

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Friends 2021

I’m still getting used to this new paradigm of making friends and connecting with people. I guess you could say that I’m old school, and up until recently, I didn’t realize how heavily I relied on meeting up with people in real life.

The internet connects us all but also diminishes the ability to connect on a deeper level, something about looking in someone’s eyes and feeling the energy they are pushing out is difficult to replicate digitally. Perhaps. Maybe it’s different for kids who have grown up with the internet.

It’s interesting to think about people like my grandparents, people who know about the internet but don’t use it and therefore don’t understand what it is and how essential it feels in modern life. There’s a certain romantic simplicity about not being online (or put another way, not feeling obligated to be online / make a living digitally.) And I say this while simultaneously am someone who loves technology.

I am excited about apps like Clubhouse and other new ways of connecting through audio and/or video.

Being intentional and genuine are universal and will help you create thriving friendships, no matter what the context.

I find it both exciting and overwhelming to be so connected to anyone in the world (and I do my best to focus on the former.)

I think like most things, it’s all about moderation and making sure you are giving yourself what you need, not just constantly staying connected.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #1195

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Good Friends Are…

The ones who genuinely want to see you succeed and be happy.

The ones you pick off right where you left off despite not seeing each other for a while.

The ones who challenge you and hold you accountable.

—but give you slack when you fall.

The ones who got your back.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #1193

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Two-Way Street’s And Friend Types

I used to think that true friendship was a two-way street. Meaning, both parties are actively engaged in keeping the connection strong. That’s a very nerdy way of saying it, but you get the idea. It takes two to tango. A handshake requires two right hands. You reach out; I reach out. If only one person is making an effort… to spend time together then is this really a healthy relationship?

I don’t think this anymore. On the surface, it makes a lot of sense, but this two-way street idea disregard one thing—we’re all unique.

People are different. Call Divide it what how you want—Enneagram types, love language, personality types, intro/extro/ambiverts—we all have different ways of expressing ourselves, our needs, our dreams, our affection. Not to mention all our flaws and unhealthy habits we occasionally fall into.

My hypothesis is there are two main kinds of friend interaction—Initiators and Receivers.

An Initiator type is one who instigates the experiences. They are the ones who reach out. They plan dinner, coffee, meetups, and other experiences. They are always periodically checking in on how you are doing.

A Receiver (it’s the best word I can think of at the moment) type is one who receives experiences. They are waiting for the other person to reach out. They want to hang out but they don’t want to overstep or be a bother (they know that their friend is busy with their new job). They are ready and willing to do something if only their friend would reach out and initiate the next steps.

We are often both of these things and switch types depending on the friend. Neither is bad per se. Initiator’s tend to be leadership types and Receives tend to be follower types, but not always. Things start getting messy, however, when you’ve got two Receiver interactions going.

When two Receivers are both waiting for the other person to reach out, then inevitably nothing happens. They each assume each other is too busy (which they are, but that doesn’t mean they won’t make time for their friend.)

(Side-note: Of course, if someone doesn’t care about you, then are they really worth your time?)

Often our friends aren’t too busy for us, they are just waiting for us to reach out to them first.

You may be in this kind of connection right now. If you are, then it’s time to decide whether or not the relationship is worthwhile for you. If you are finding genuine joy and value out of the connection then you might have to flip from a Receiver to an Initiator.

Reach out. Plan a meet up. Don’t wait. Make the first move.

It’s like Chess or Checkers (or any game really)—someone has to go first.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #1192

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Friend Types

I used to think that true friendship was a two-way street. Meaning, both parties are actively engaged in keeping the connection strong. That’s a very nerdy way of saying it, but you get the idea. It takes two to tango. A handshake requires two right hands. You reach out; I reach out. If only one person is making an effort… to spend time together then is this really a healthy relationship?

I don’t think this anymore. On the surface it makes a lot of sense, but this two-way street idea disregard one thing—we’re all unique.

People are different. Call Divide it what how you want—Enneagram types, love language, personality types, intro/extro/ambiverts—we all have different ways of expressing ourselves, our needs, our dreams, our affection. Not to mention all our flaws and unhealthy habits we occasionally fall into.

My hypothesis is there are two main kinds of friend interaction—Initiators and Receivers.

An Initiator type is one who instigates the experiences. They are the ones who reach out. They plan dinner, coffee, meetups, and other experiences. They are always periodically checking in on how you are doing.

A Receiver (it’s the best word I can think of at the moment) type is one who receives experiences. They are waiting for the other person to reach out. They want to hang out but they don’t want to overstep or be a bother (they know that their friend is busy with their new job). They are ready and willing to do something if only their friend would reach out and initiate the next steps.

We are often both of these things and switch types depending on the friend. Neither is bad per se. Initiators tend to be leadership types and Receives tend to be follower types, but not always. Things start getting messy, however, when you’ve got two Receiver interactions going.

When two Receivers are both waiting for the other person to reach out, then inevitably nothing happens. They each assume each other is too busy (which they are, but that doesn’t mean they won’t make time for their friend.)

(Side-note: Of course, if someone doesn’t care about you, then are they really worth your time?)

Often our friends aren’t too busy for us, they are just waiting for us to reach out to them first.

You may be in this kind of connection right now. If you are, then it’s time to decide whether or not the relationship is worthwhile for you. If you are finding genuine joy and value out of the connection then you might have to flip from a Receiver to an Initiator.

Think about it like Chess or Checkers—Someone has to go first.

Reach out. Plan a meet up. Don’t wait. Make the first move.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #1191

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