It’s quite easy to see the flaws in other people.
You have a friend that would be killing it… if only they would put in a little more effort. Or you have a family member who would be so much better off if they would stop worrying all the time. Or you strike up a conversation with a random person and notice exactly the things they could improve.
But that doesn’t matter. Are they asking for help? No—they are just living their normal life.
It’s much harder to see the flaws in ourselves. Let alone seek out ways to improve our weaknesses.
We don’t see ourselves from the outside perspective. We don’t know what we don’t know.
And what’s easy for you to solve might be difficult for me, because we’ve experienced life in different ways through different experiences.
People growing up today with social media might have a better sense of it, but not necessarily in a good way. Everything is styled and curated. If something’s wrong, they notice. But they don’t use it to try to improve themselves (or learn to accept their flaws as a part of what makes them who they are). Instead, we see waves of self-loathing and anxiety.
It’s alright to be flawed. No one is flawless, even the people that tell/show us they are. We all have things we are great at and things we need to work on.
One insight I found helpful on my journey is to think about yourself as a work in progress. If you don’t like something about yourself, then change it. If you want to be better, then be better. You are a blank canvas waiting to be painted and repainted. You can change. And you can change your mind over time too.
And if you want to help others, begin by helping yourself. Take the lead. Live the example first. Don’t just shout advice like you have a clue what you are talking about when you don’t. Advice on what you do know, or examples of who does.
When I’m looking for inputs — information/knowledge/content/things we consume — I’m looking for things that will expand me.
What can I do/see/experience that will examine my perception of the world and in so doing my ability to create and impact my corner of the world?
In essence, what can I take in that will make me a better person?
How can I use X to add more meaning in my life and in so-doing the people I care about? And what are the meaningless things I can remove?
STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing — Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #1617