Convincing Others to Change

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Mahatma Gandhi

It’s easy to suggest or recommended change, but it’s massively harder to convince someone to do it. Just like it’s hard for us to make a change in our own life.

It takes work to change. Particularly if you’re going 80 mph in the wrong/opposite direction and are trying to turn around. It’s work and then some. A cherry on top, if you will.

Think about how hard it is to get yourself to do something. Be it going off gluten for a month, or exercising consistently every week, or getting up early. Remind yourself the feeling of difficulty it is to make change happen. Now apply it to people you’re suggesting a change to, or wishing they would break a bad habit or do what they say they want to do. It’s tough, right?

I think one of the best ways to enable change in other people’s lives is to live by example yourself. Let your enthusiasm and success influence and rub off on them. When a friend, loved one or colleague see’s your results, they’ll want it too.

Of course, don’t hide the hard parts either. Nothing turns people off of doing something then seeing others succeed in some form and thinking they are invincible or a machine.

Change is difficult, but it can look easy (emphasis on ‘look’) after a lot of intentional practice and routine.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #845

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Magic Pill

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.”

Anne Lamott

I think we are all, in some shape or form, looking for a magic pill that will finally fix us. A quick releasing capsule washed down with a glass of water to fix our skin problems. Or to fix our confidence (or lack thereof). Or to fix our gut. Or to fix our financial meltdown.

We feel as though something — something we can’t quite put our finger on — is holding us back from a better life, a better version of ourselves. It’s likely we are not even looking for a quick dose of magic. (Although if you can do it by 5pm that would be splendid thanks.) What we want is certainty. We want to know it’s possible to change. We want to know if we are doing the right thing at the right time.

But is there a right thing? Sure, we have a good sense of what’s right and wrong. But what about when something that’s right for me ends up bad for you (or vice versa)? What happens when someone else gets the job you wanted? They’re in a good place, but are you?

It’s often the case that bad things that happen to us eventually become good over time with a little more perspective. For example, you’re lost in heartache and pain over a breakup, but a few years later you meet the love of your life. Or maybe you are in pain over a breakup and you channel that pain into a work of art, like an emotionally moving song. Would you have come up with that idea if you hadn’t been through that stressful period? Who’s to say.

Hard moments can be soul-crushing. But they can also be a positive forcing function to becoming better versions of ourselves. Good things — things we think are good for us — can just as easily become un-beneficial. In, the end even the best of us are still just figuring things out as we go.

All we can really do is life. We can love like we want to be loved. We can learn from dumb things we inevitably do and grow from our decisions. We can surround ourselves with knowledge and people who are looking out for us. We can think bigger than ourselves. And as long as we get back up when we fall, we can find a way forward. It might not be quick, but it is forward.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #815

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Giving and Taking Advice

“The best advice comes from people who don’t give advice.”

Matthew McConaughey

Unsolicited advice always shoots through one ear and out the other without the slightest remorse.

The best advice given is the advice asked for.

The problem is we are too stubborn and obvious to ask for it. We’d rather go down with the ship then tell others our ship is leaking.

Some days I feel like half my problems would dissipate if I asked the right person for some advice. (The right person being the one who has experience a similar problem or knows someone who has)

So how do we give advice to someone too stubborn to take it? and how do we ask for advice when we really need it instead of holding our breath trying to solve our problems ourselves?

We do it subtly and from a place of honesty and trust.

When it comes to giving advice, we have to meet people where they are. Sometimes, that means being there for them when they need help and they are struggling. We have to wait for them to be ready for help. This starts by simply saying that you are there them if they need any help or guidance. Open up the kimono first — show them what you are struggling with. Vulnerability is relatability. And don’t forget to lead by example.

How do we ask advice when we need it ourselves?

First, find someone who has been through something similar to what you are going through. And if you can’t find that, then the next best thing is to seek advice from someone you know that you admire.

There’s no shame in asking for help. In fact, being vulnerable and seeking council will make the person like you and want to help you even more. Again, vulnerability is relatability.

If you feel like you’ve got no one around you that can help, hit the books. Seek the wisdom and insights from people of today and from history who’ve experienced life in its fullest spectrum. Books, videos, courses, podcast… half the battle is being aware of that fact that you could use some advice, from there, finding the advice will come much more easily. If that doesn’t work, maybe you’re the one who will find an answer and help others from your insights.

And when in doubt, seek a professional. (Verses some random person like me, with a blog.)

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #718


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How is Just a Phone Call Away

‘How’ comes from doing. We never know how until we try it for ourselves. We might have an idea of what it means to do something, but until we get our hands dirty, so to speak, we don’t really know first hand.

This goes for a lot of things — starting a company, asking someone out, traveling abroad, being poor / rich, pretty much everything.

Creativity is usually an individualistic act. But collaboration is not too far behind (and sometimes is far ahead). Let’s not forget, at the end of the day, we are creating for someone. Often, that someone we are creating for ourselves — creating just to create and express our voice. But even so, our work is for others as well. Connections like, buy and celebrate your work.

Luckily, we don’t have to learn ‘how’ always on our own. We can learn from other’s example and experiences, through stories (books, talks, conversations, etc) We can build a tight-knit community around us, and gather closer to people who care about us and what we are going through.

If we surround ourselves with generosity (helping others, letting others help us), then ‘how’ becomes a whole lot easier.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner

Daily Blog #639

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