Convincing Others to Change

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Mahatma Gandhi

It’s easy to suggest or recommended change, but it’s massively harder to convince someone to do it. Just like it’s hard for us to make a change in our own life.

It takes work to change. Particularly if you’re going 80 mph in the wrong/opposite direction and are trying to turn around. It’s work and then some. A cherry on top, if you will.

Think about how hard it is to get yourself to do something. Be it going off gluten for a month, or exercising consistently every week, or getting up early. Remind yourself the feeling of difficulty it is to make change happen. Now apply it to people you’re suggesting a change to, or wishing they would break a bad habit or do what they say they want to do. It’s tough, right?

I think one of the best ways to enable change in other people’s lives is to live by example yourself. Let your enthusiasm and success influence and rub off on them. When a friend, loved one or colleague see’s your results, they’ll want it too.

Of course, don’t hide the hard parts either. Nothing turns people off of doing something then seeing others succeed in some form and thinking they are invincible or a machine.

Change is difficult, but it can look easy (emphasis on ‘look’) after a lot of intentional practice and routine.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #845

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Leaky Work (aka Self-Sabotage)

“Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.”

Benjamin Franklin

Where are you getting in your own way? I came to this question in an epiphany of sorts a day or so ago. I was feeling under the weather and my muscles were inflamed (aka hurting) more than usual. (I have a muscle/nerve issue in my neck I’ve been dealing with for the last eight years or so. It’s been so long it’s a silent part of who I am now. It’s something I always striving to find a resource or person or bit of knowledge to find healing. But I digress. A tale for another day perhaps. So anyway, I was feeling more achy than usual…) Plus I’ve been feeling various stressor which has been feeding my midnight treat munchies 🍪.

When it hit me:

I’ve been getting in my way.

I’m spending time, money and effort to eat healthy, but I’m also spending money to eat sweets and comfort foods. Or, in essence, I’m putting in work and resources, but my boat — in this case my health — has leaks. All the effort and money to be healthier (for me that means to have more energy, focus and be less tense) is being thwarted or weighted down by other not-so-healthy things. 

At best, my bad habits are balancing out my good habits.

So I’m planning a sugar detox, obviously :). I still feel good, despite my bad habits. But what if I could feel better? I know that I could be and feel more radiant. When you feel better, you can create better. Your mind is on a whole other level. Your energy goes up so your confidence and charisma goes up. (If you want to see the least charismatic, grumpy, slow Josh, catch me when I’m sleep deprived.)

But that’s also got me thinking: where else am I getting in my own way?

Finances? Learning? Friendships? Community? Work?

What’s not working? What needs to be more optimized? Where am I defaulting to mediocre or just good enough?

I’m still journaling on this. Work in progress.

So, Where are you getting in your way?

email me.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #844

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To Be (or Not)

“How many emperors and how many princes have lived and died and no record of them remains, and they only sought to gain dominions and riches in order that their fame might be ever-lasting.”

Leonardo da Vinci

Ask any kid today what they want to be when they grow up and you’ll likely get a similar answer:

Youtube Famous.

Forget astronauts. Forget presidents. Forget rock stars. Internet Famous. 

Heck, ask anyone fifty and under who’s even slightly internet savvy and they’d likely trade their job to be Youtube famous. I think it’s likely because being Youtube, Instagram, TikTok or whatever famous looks like you make money while playing all day, doing what you love and hanging out with fun people. I haven’t tried Youtube (yet) but I think it deceptively much harder to do than it looks. There’s an art and skill to everything. Just because it looks easy doesn’t mean it didn’t take a massive amount of time and effort to make it happen.

But why does everyone want to be famous?

I think 99% of us don’t want to be famous (even if we say we do). I think what we really want is to be known and to feel known. (Plus the perks that usually — but not always — that come with fame: money, access, resources, etc)

We all want a place to belong.

We want our voice to matter.

We want our work and life to be meaningful.

But we don’t need fame to have those things. In fact, fame might be detrimental to belonging. (Besides, pursuing fame never gives you fame, fame is a by-product of the love and cares you put into your craft and relationships.)

Connection, helping others, loving ourselves, standing up for our values and principles, cultivating our skills, going all-in on community… this is where meaning and belong flow.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #843

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Creative Headspace

“I just always wanted to be left alone to go into a creative space.”

Randy Quaid

I pride myself on being able to come up with ideas and to be able to create anywhere, even in chaos. Sometimes I’ll even seek out hectic and loud places so I can practice focusing. It helps when you write every day and have a certain level of confidence that you can pull some ideas from your butt. Will it be a good idea? Dunno. Not always. The goal is to create a great idea (I don’t know of anyone who sat down and intentionally tried to make a bad idea) but not all of our ideas will be the best. Regardless, having a consistent routine opens the creative faucet and lets the ideas flow.

Of course, the best place ideas follow is when you are alone with your thoughts. No interruptions. No email. No todos. Just you and your imagination. (Great ideas can come from other places too, like a focused collaboration with a few teammates.)

Routine gives us a headspace to be effective and have the breathing room to go creatively bananas.

That’s why certain creatives and entrepreneurs only wear the same outfit. Or follow a consistent morning routine. That’s why every techie male over 45 dresses like Steve Jobs. black shirt. jeans. glasses. white sneaks.

That’s why athletes will create little routines before, during and after a game. You’re at the foul line. The crowd is roaring. The game is on the line. But you forget all of that and focus in. Tap the right foot. Breathe. Say the mantra ‘you got this’. bounce the ball three times. Shoot — score.

The magic routine doesn’t matter. What matters is getting in the right headspace to perform at our best.

Whatever gets you there, gets you there.

It usually involves senses. It could be sight, sound, smell, touch, taste. Sunrise, logic, peppermint, paper and pen, and coffee. It doesn’t matter. Whatever that gets you in the place you need to be. And it’s all about confidence.

Both routine and setting give us the confidence we need to create.

Will we create something worthwhile? maybe. That’s the goal anyway.

Will we work on something that leads to another opportunity that leads to another opportunity? Absolutely.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #842

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Loneliness and Solitude

“In nature we never see anything isolated, but everything in connection with something else which is before it, beside it, under it and over it.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“When from our better selves we have too long been parted by the hurrying world, and droop. Sick of its business, of its pleasures tired, how gracious, how benign is solitude.”

William Wordsworth

We often know what we need, before we think we need it. Let me put that another way. We often know what decision we need to make, way before we decide to take the steps to make it. It’s like our heart (soul/spirit / inner-self ) knows exactly what we need to do instantly, while our outer, overly critical overly thinking self needs to warm up to it.

Sometimes we need space. Sometimes we need connection. Life is a mixture of both.

I have this tendency to check out whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed, anxious or under the weather. All I want to do is crawl away from all the noise and find somewhere quiet to be with myself. Vegging out is a tempting mistress (and I find myself marathoning random shows more than I care to admit) but what I’m really seeking is a silent place to be alone with myself. I’m not checking out of myself, I’m checking out of the world. I’m checking out of the external and checking into the internal.

So, I’ll avoid responding to texts. I’ll be more reluctant to answer email, and more reclusive to going to events or friendly invitations. Even if it’s something I’d normally love doing, I’ll avoid it. Because what I know I really need is space and breathing room to be alone with myself. (Note: better to let your friends know you need some solitude, versus ignore them for days.)

Ask yourself, when was the last time you were alone with yourself? No phone. No tv. No distractions. Just you and you. (And maybe a notebook and pen.)

Whether we know it or not. We all need solitude. Our best ideas come from giving ourselves space. That’s why all great ideas happen when you are driving alone in your car, going on an early walk, or standing in the shower as the sound of water drowns out the outer world.

There are other occasions, usually, when things are tough or sour, where all we want to avoid people (particularly the prying people closest to us), and yet we know (and try to ignore) we need help and the only way we are gonna get that help is to be around people (again, particularly the prying people closest to us). We don’t want to show that we are hurting. We don’t want to show our weakness. And yet we all know that’s exactly what we need to do.

Better to rip the bandage and reveal our wounds early, otherwise, they might fester and become worse. Sharing our weaknesses and scars is a part of what being a human being is about. I think it’s a component of storytelling that’s built into our DNA. Your story connects to my story and vice versa.

You might not always get the reaction you were hoping, but you at least likely won’t get the reaction you are expecting.

The difference between needing space and needing people is subtle. It takes some time (and a lot of patience) to be able to listen to yourself and figure out which you need. I think what we are seeking is similar — a level of clearheadedness or balance — but what drives each comes from different things. Whatever you think you need, it’s usually the opposite. Unless you are extremely in tune with your emotional wellbeing. If you are like the rest of us emotionally unintelligent work’s in progress(es), there are road signs you can watch out for —

Loneliness. Isolation. Feeling like you need to do and take care of everything yourself. These are signs that you need to be around people. Ideally, people that are smarter than you, care about you, and what to help and see you succeed.

Overwhelm. Overstimulated. Grumpy and feeling like everyone in the world is an idiot or out to get you. These are signs that you need to be alone with yourself. Ideally in nature. Or in a quiet place, you won’t be interrupted.

Ignore these signs at your own peril.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #841

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Stick to You

“The universe is transformation: life is opinion.”

Marcus Aurelius

Forget what everyone else is telling you to do. Do you.

Your gut (instinct) is already telling you what to do. When you feel it pulling you in a certain direction, why is it so hard to listen to it? Because it’s likely going against the grain. Of other people’s expectations. Of other people’s motivations. Maybe they are right (particularly if they are wise and experienced in what they are talking about) or maybe they’re wrong. Sometimes the only way to know is to go with your gut and find out the hard way.

Whenever you feel the urge to lend a hand or help someone, do it.

Whenever you feel called to choose one career decision over another, do it.

Whenever you feel the pull of standing up for your values and principles, do it.

And if all else fails, seek the advice of someone smarter than you.

If we don’t stick to who we are and who we want to be, then who are we?

Somebody else.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #840

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3 Questions for a Better Today

“I don’t pretend we have all the answers. But the questions are certainly worth thinking about.”

Arthur C. Clarke

How can I help at least one person today?

What’s one thing that’s been bothering me lately? What can I do (or at least start doing) to resolve it?

What’s one thing I can do (or not do) today that would make me feel refreshed tomorrow?

Think about these questions. Journal on them and see where they lead. Sometimes the answer is simpler than you would imagine.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #839

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Autopilot Life

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”

Confucius

We often live life on autopilot. Going where the wind (of others) takes us. I don’t think we have complete control over our lives, but at the very least we can say a prayer to ourselves and put our hands on the wheel.

It’s difficult to see what you are doing wrong, if anything, without proper reflection on what you’re doing.

Just because you’re going in a certain direction doesn’t make it a direction that works out for you.

There is no right or wrong direction per se. It’s more like there is the direction we can choose to take that align better to who we are and what we want out of life versus going against who we are (or who we want to be).

Many mistakes can happen when you go in and wing it. While over-preparation can hurt momentum, it never hurts to be more prepared rather than unprepared and caught off guard. It’s like they say, it’s better to go to a party overdressed (to the nines) than underdressed.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #838

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No More Snoozing

“Those who have compared our life to a dream were right… we were sleeping wake, and waking sleep.”

Michel de Montaigne

“I’ve stopped drinking, but only while I’m asleep.”

George Best

We all have problems in life — eventually. The thing about big problems is that 80% of the time they aren’t that way. I’m not trying to be cynical, honest. I’ve just seen firsthand how easy little problem acorns can grow into giant problem trees. Problems usually start where they are too short to ride the rollercoaster, so to speak.

All of the bigger problems I’m facing — the ones I currently have as of writing this anyway — are the accumulation of little things that have grown over my lifetime. Things like spending too much of my day sitting. Falling prey to a midnight sweet (cooooookies🍪 ) that messes up my sleep quality. Pushing off a silly medical bill, hoping it will go away.

Certain things we can’t control and shouldn’t stress over. If you fall because you’re walking in a dark room with no access to a light source to see, is it really your fault for tripping. But other things like neglect, we can control as long as we stay on top of the little things yet important things in life.

Neglect can come from anywhere. Small bills you weren’t aware of that have been growing over time. Bad habits, like walking a certain way, or abusing a component of your body (like your back, neck or feet), which leads to painful problems down the line. Friends you want to keep in touch with but just never found the time to do so. Neglect usually comes with hard lessons of humility that show us a better way to live.

Humility is one of those friends that tells it like it is. While most people compliment you what a good job you’re doing, humility is backhanding you in the face with things/realties you’re not seeing. But not because Humility is out to get you or wants to see you fail. Humility is there to show you where you had blinders on.

Remember, the biggest problems we face in life are usually not big problems at all — there an amalgamation of tiny subtle problems we didn’t notice or kept hitting the snooze button on.

No more snooze button.

Ignoring the problem doesn’t mean we are handing the problem. When we ignore a problem we’re actually just feeding the monster baby. If we keep ignoring it, soon enough that monster baby isn’t going to be a baby any longer.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #837

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Defining Values

All the gold which is under or upon the earth is not enough to give in exchange for virtue. Plato

It’s easy to mistake who you are for what you do. I mean, most of our lives are built around having a job and doing work. We even greet new people with the question, “so what do you do?” But work is only a fraction of what makes us who we are.

We’re also our interests — what we like (and dislike). It’s our sense of humor. It’s the way we physically move throughout the world. It’s where we live. And who we associate with (that’s a big one), It’s what we enjoy doing in our free time. It’s who we love.

Arguably most importantly, we are defined by our values and principles we run our lives by. Sometimes we choose these values as we grow up. And, for better or worse, we absorb the values. What you value says a lot about who you are.

Holding the door for someone isn’t a big deal on the surface, but it says a lot about what you value.

  • Asking someone if they need a hand.
  • Taking a grocery cart back to the store after you’ve unloaded your car.
  • Calling a friend and asking them how they are doing.
  • Reading books that are above your pay grade (meaning, hard to read).

Putting in that little extra effort.

The little things we do or don’t do speak loudly about what we care about and don’t care about.

All of this is changeable, by the way. If you want to be kinder, then teach yourself to be kinder by doing something like holding the door for others. If you want to be happier then do something that will make someone else happier today. If you want to be wiser, spend your time with people smarter than yourself.

STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #836

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