“You know how advice is. You only want it if it agrees with what you wanted to do anyway.”John Steinbeck
Advice is a tricky business. Unless you can back up your advice with personal experience, hardly anyone will listen to you.
It sucks because their advice might be sound but because it’s not backed by anything, we won’t take it. Because what if it’s bad advice?
Armchair quarterbacking doesn’t inspire anyone. Well, not with positivity anyway. It might inspire you to do the opposite of what the person is saying.
Even if you are older, or in a position of higher authority, if you’re talk doesn’t match your walk, people will notice and won’t do it.
“The advice of the elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books.”Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
If I were to pin it down to one reason why, I’d say it’s because advice that’s given without experience to back it up feels hollow and judgmental.
Humans have been giving each other unwanted advice to each other for millennia. The hunter-gather takes one look at his buddies fire and says ‘you should build a fire over here instead of there, bro’.
The bible has some similar insights on this: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. … Why do you look at the speck of dust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? … You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Sometimes, we’re the ones doing the armchair life coaching. We’re giving all this great advice but not taking it ourselves. Crap. (…you hypocrite!) The only way to resolve this is to heed our own advice. Giving advice means taking advice yourself.
Unless you can back up your advice with personal experience, no one is going to listen.
To be in a position to help others, you have to align your worlds with your actions. Back your advice with gold.
In essence, to change others, you have to be will and able to change yourself.
STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #717