Objectivity is the best part about asking for advice from a trusted connection.
When we are facing down the barrel of a problem (or problemS with a capital Ssssss) we’re usually too close to what’s going on to see the issue for what it is and find opportunities to solve it—without losing our shirt about it.
Asking for help can be scary, mostly because it shows we are vulnerable like everyone else.
You spend all this time fortifying yourself for battle, handling problems by yourself, and steeling your nerves. All the while, you’re on edge and crying on the inside, as your foundation crumbles from all the battles. You wish you had help, but to get it you have to lower your defenses to let help through, leaving you open.
Objective advice allows you to see things for what they are, rather than what you think they are.
It’s an emotionless spark of insight into what’s going on. However emotionless doesn’t mean soulless. Trusted advice has care behind it. It doesn’t come with expectations of what you should do or pity for what you can’t do, rather, it says ‘here’s something you might haven’t seen or thought about the problem.
Advice gives you the chance to find different angles and perspectives on the problem and redefine what you’re dealing with.
A problem isn’t just a problem, it’s amplified by what we think and believe about it.
A negative hopeless problem is a lion roaring on your chest while you lay on the ground yelling, ‘why me?!’
An objective problem is recognizing that the lion is actually the size of an iPhone, and you can pick up the lion by its tiny tail and you can get up off the ground and show that baby phone-sized lion your teeth.
When in doubt, ask a trusted confidant.
How do you know if you can trust someone? Ask yourself, does this persons advice help me, or does it help them / does it make them feel better about themselves?
And when you don’t feel like you have someone to trust, find an expert such as a therapist, or even better, someone who has been through what you’re going through.
STAY BOLD, Keep Pursuing— Josh Waggoner | Daily Blog #1787
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