Life Principle #11: Define Your Values (Throw A Party)
Do you ever look at a homeless person and wonder what happened to end up where they are?
One time, when I️ was selling my boldsheep clothing at a Sunday market, my Gabriella and I️ somehow came to the conclusion It would be funny if she sat on the floor in front of my pop-up shop holding a cardboard box with the words ‘will sell shirts for $’ written in big bold lettering.
What happened blew me away!
No one would look at her.
Not even a glance. They couldn’t even take the time to read the sign to see It was a joke. Someone even called the market cops in!
We quickly explained the story.
I️ wonder if the reason we ignore homeless people is that deep down, we know that in a bad turn of choices and circumstances that could be us. (Either that or its because they always ask for drinking... er... I️ mean food money)
In the last couple years, I️ experienced a very stress-filled financial meltdown. Things weren’t working at work and essential I️ wasn’t making enough to live, WHILE I️ was going through some health setbacks. All that to say, my brush against finance chaos made me realize how important your values are, your support group (the people you are closest too), your mindset (what you think, and how you talk to yourself) and your willingness to let go and ask for help is. Without those four things, there’s not much that separates you from a nice home and good food, to no home and going to bed hungry.
This is an extreme example, yet true.
However, finding yourself on the street might not even be the worst way to live. You could argue that going your entire life without knowing hardly anything about who you are and what you love is worse. I️ think I️ can speak for all of us when I️ say, being on your deathbed with regret, looking back at an aimless life in which you flutter from one thing to the next, with no rhyme or reason might be worse than death itself.
This is why defining your values is vitally important.
Life Principle #11 Define Your Values
Defining your values is identifying what you stand for and then standing for them.
What do you want in life?
What matters more than anything to you?
What makes you feel ALIVE?
Now take a good look at the life you are living today. The closer aligned your values of who you want to be and the way you live each day are direct cause and effect. Or in other words,
Show me your values and I’ll show you how far you will get in life.
The problem is, no one each us this shtuff. And if they try it’s so boring we never actually sit down and ask ourselves the most important question: Who do I️ want to be?
But not here, I️ like to keep us on our toes here at the Renaissance Life.
So you know what that means...
It’s time to party. 🥂
Next time you have a chunk of time off, say when you get off work, or this weekend throw a party. Block off some time, put it on your calendar and make It mandatory. Who should you invite? You, yourself and you of course! (Buzzkill?) Seriously. It’s time to have a knockdown, drag-out, uncomfortable talk with yourself about who you are, and who you want to be.
Sit down with a pen and some paper. Have a list of questions you want to ask yourself. (Including the three above). Turn off your phone, Block all notifications and social media. Clean your house beforehand so you’re not distracted by your environment. Do whatever you gotta do to be alone for your party.
It’s going to be challenging, It might even be awkward, but it’s going to be worth it because defining your values is the most important thing you can do.
How many of us go through the motions in life, aimless, and hoping something good would happen. I️ say, let’s make It happen!
Imagine as if you were having dinner with your current self, your childhood self, and your future selves. Every action and choice you make today can determine your future self, so there might be a few of future you’s at this party.
Start with where you are:
What lights you up?
If you could learning anything instantly what would It be?
Where do you dream about living?
What do you really think of your current job/school life?
What kind of people do you love to be around?
What did you love to do as a kid?
How do you think about yourself?
Do you defeat yourself with your mind before you even begin?
How much time do you let yourself have fun on any given week?
What are your current inputs? (TV, books, people, food etc)
And then ask yourself questions about who you would like to be:
What does my ideal job? What sounds like the greatest job to you?
What would make me happier?
What life would make my childhood self proud?
What is missing?
Am I️ letting fear win over courage?
What do I️ want to master?
Who do I️ want to know and be friends with?
What kind of life would make my future self happy on his/her death bed?
What are my strengths and how can I️ make them daily habits?
What are my weaknesses and how can I️ turn them into opportunities?
What would It look like if It was easy (This ones' from Tim Ferriss)
The person you want to be is closer than you think. All It takes is a decision, this day, about who you want to be. I️ believe we are capable of change, and that change begins the moment we decide that we want It.
Your values will change as you grow, they will ebb and flow depending on where you are in life. But your core foundations will always stay the same.
For me, life principles are my defining values. Be a Lifelong Learner, Act Boldly, Live Boldly, Be Your Own Renaissance. These are the values I️ have and the life principles I️ aim for. I️ don’t always hit the bullseye, but I’m always aiming my arrow in that direction.
Knowing who you want to be makes failure and bombing easier. Failures change from cataclysmic my-life-is-over moments into stepping stones to opportunities.
Today is the day to choose to be different.
See the change, take the leap.
Whoever you think you are, you are correct.
Stay BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner
"Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values." — Ellen DeGeneres
"I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values - and follow my own moral compass - then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own." — Michelle Obama
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
"If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies." — Jon Stewart
“Find people who share your values, and you'll conquer the world together.”
― John Ratzenberger