'Hey buddy' 'Hey bud'
ughhhhh. buddy.... I don't know if any knows it, but confession: I hate when people call me buddy.
It makes me cringe and everyone seems to call me it!
However, like a fine wine, not all "buddy's" are created equal. On one level, it's a mannerism that my friends have. It's a dude-bro term of endearment. 'Hey bud, it's good to see you!', 'Thanks, buddy, what have you been up to?' But on another level, 'buddy' — or words like it — can be a way to talk down to others. It's like I'm a kid in a candy shop who got caught licking the candy canes. 'Hey bud bud buddy, you know you've got to pay for that first right?'
Reminds me of Back to the Future. If you haven't seen it, (what are you doing with your life?!) Marty McFly hates when people call him 'chicken'. Them's fighting words for him. And of course the town's meat-head Biff loves to egg Marty on by calling him it. (brownie points for using the words 'meat' and 'egg' in one sentence!) I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't seen the series (seriously, forget reading this and go watch it) but suffice it to say, Marty always loses his head and it never ends well for him when he gives into that anger.
Now, I'm not going to punch the next person who calls me buddy (... probably), but I do need to deal with it.
Having a thick skin is a requirement for choosing to be different and living your life as a non-conformist. Everyone is always going to have comments about what you're doing, especially if you are going against the grain. And if you're trying to do/be anything online you definitely need it. (Thick-skin 101 should be taught in school)
Here are some possible solutions:
- Let your friends know that you hate the word. They will either going to stop calling you it, or will call you it 100x more. (Depending on the friends :)
- If it's a smackdown there are two paths you can take:
- Ask yourself, 'Am I acting immaturely?' Perhaps a mannerism, certain habit or way you carry yourself is attracting others to a 'buddy' mindset? (aka looking naive, nervous, or otherwise unflatteringly young) If that's the case, begin self-reflectionI on how you can increase your confidence and certainty. Speaking clearly, firm handshakes, looking people in the eye, and unafraid to speak up.
- Or say nothing. Take it, use it as fuel and prove them wrong.
'Cooler heads have prevailed.'
Stay BOLD, Keep Pursuing,
— Josh Waggoner
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“If you want to change the way people respond to you, change the way you respond to people.” — Timothy Leary