Let's Assume I'm Right

My biggest mistakes and faults in life tend to be centered around making assumptions about how things work.

Actually, its more like two assumptions: I️ make an assumption about how things work, then I️ assume that I’m right. Or in other words I'm making false assumptions based on nothing concrete.

  • I can assume someone doesn't want to hang out or talk to me, but really they're just busy. (and were assuming you would reach out first
  • If I️ make a mistake at work, it’s usually because I️ made an assumption that bandaids a problem I’m not seeing.
  • With Gabriella, I️ can assume something I’m doing is good, but really it’s annoying the H E double hockey sticks out of her. (Same goes with friends and family)
  • When something negative happens to me I️ assume the worst. (a one-way train to rock bottom)

A great example is first impressions. Sometimes you run into a guy or gal who is a master of bad first impressions. Maybe it’s how they speak, or what they talk about (or their stupid hair). We make assumptions about who they are and that they’re like this all the time. But really they could have had a bad day and came across as negative or boring. (a dinosaur stepped on their kitten, they’re just really hangry or a thousand other reasons). And when you run into them again they usually actually nicer than you thought. (hmm their hair's nicer today)

Assumptions can cause frictions that lead to bigger problems.

A timely example is false news. It's easy to make the false assumption that everything you read online and in books is true fact. (even though we've all heard the classic phrase 'don't trust what you read on the internet') It's hard, because you read something that sounds true (why would it not be? there are hundreds of other people who have liked this post...) but really someone is trying to manipulate us. Psychological factors like confirmation bias comes into play too — we want it to be true, so we see only what we want to see.

I’m not saying that all assumptions are bad. (There are two sides to every coin)

However, assumptions can cover up flaws in our way of thinking that lead us to make mistakes. We assume our way is the only way. 

Assumptions are how we perceive the world around us.

The best way we can stop making false assumptions is to make your intentions clear and keep an open dialogue of communication. Talk it out.

The more we can catch ourselves assuming things, and asking whether our assumptions are correct or not, the better our decision making will be.

 

Keep Pursuing,

— Josh Waggoner

related wisdom:

"Assumptions are the termites of relationships." — Henry Winkler
"It's sad that we never get trained to leave assumptions behind." — Sebastian Thrun
"When you're surrounded by people who share the same set of assumptions as you, you start to think that's reality." — Emily Levine